I came across this entry today on a site that I belong to. The submissive who is writing this did not direct it at me, but it strikes me as being something very very close to the princess - vanilla - top on the bottom - type stuff that you see from newcomers to the lifestyle. (my comments are in bold italics)
I Want To Know [From I Want To Know - subbie44’s journal, erotica & notes - FetLife]
It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing. (I am a Dominant Male, my hearts longing isn’t a dream, I work hard each day to make it a reality, that’s what taking control is) It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream. for the adventure of being alive. (Being foolish is what a Dom strives against. Humiliation is something we do to, impose on, others. It isn’t something to look for in a Dominant, but in a submissive.) It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of you own sorrow, if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain! I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it, or fix it. (Again ‘fixing it’, is what a Dominant does best. If a dominant chooses to share a pain with you, then you are privileged to know that side of your Dom, savor it, it is a rare thing.) I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or you own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes (this too is a submissive thing, the ability to bring this out in a sub is what a Dominant strives for.) without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human. (These are the reasons you have a Dom in your life, so that you can forget them, a Dom never will.) It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy. (What?) I want to know if you can see beauty even when it’s not pretty, every day, and if you can source your own life from it’s presence. (No, seriously. What the hell are you talking about?) I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver moon, “Yes!” (To a Dom, Failure isn’t an option.) It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children. (This is the task of a slave, a masochist, a pain slut. This is not something that a Dominant would put himself through deliberately. Your task as slave/submissive is to ease His pain so that he has the ability to return to his task as provider.) It doesn’t interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back. (Again you put yourself in a situation you don’t need to be in, wanting your Dom to stand there with you. What you don’t understand is, that the Dominant *IS* the flame, the fire that burns you is His command, His control, His love for you.) It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away. (What sustains me is my Honor, My Values, My own criticisms. I control Me.) I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments (*Smile* Yes, Very Much.)
This is not a criticism of the submissive who wrote the original post. She is simply writing from her heart, from her experiences, drawing on her own knowledge of what life should be like.
This is a criticism of those who perpetuate the myth that a girls life should be like a faery tale princess dream come true. Life doesn’t work that way. Fantasies don’t work that way. Fetish Relationships don’t ever ever ever work that way.
Yes you can find a Man to be all those things for you, and your life can be wonderful. I’m not saying that it’s not possible, but True Doms have a word for that sort of relationship - VANILLA.
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